Hello world! I am back! Some big break, because the “schnooks” has his vacay on big tide so we had to go in August! So I don’t know what it means to non-portugese or more widely non-emigrants, but to us AUGUST would be…
MEU QUERIDO MÊS DE AGOSTO… it would be almost like a religious way back to the motherland.
I lack the apparel of the “emigra” though. I don’t have a white audi or bmw, I do not speak a mix of languages expecting everyone to understand (I do make mistakes though… I am on 3 and a half languages on daily basis… 🙃 not bragging, just explaining 😛). I have some of the traits of the “emigra” but I wouldn’t fit in in August in Portugal right now! 💩
Anyway, escape is necessary, it is a REAL need, and I don’t know if any scientist reads that or anyone besides “schnooks” but 2 weeks are a must. I week is just the amount of time you need to start disconnecting, so the second week is what we need to have a vacation. And so we did, and it was great and I have to develop more and to go through more and I will reminisce about them and share more.
Also I will share about the anxiety of work and pressure that I have been feeling. The end of a PhD that is extending itself seems to be like being in a long tunnel, running towards the end and the end being visible but never accessible. And then, in the mind of a 4 year old, you think it will never end, that your life will fall into a black hole and disappear and your survival brain starts to panic, activating all you synapses so you try to find a way out, but being depressive you already thought of all alternatives, all ending in the hole so you hyperventilate and just want to let the fear, anger, frustration, insecurities, pain and sadness explode out of your body. So yeah, you need 2 weeks!
As for this pic, it was the silliness, excitement of us leaving for a 8h trip. First stop… I’ll tell later because it was nice. But this one os not about the stop, it was about the liberation. It was about not thinking about when we return and what we need to do. Just leaving not looking back… thanks to “schnooks” that plan everything for me it was partially a blind holidays, I was not expecting anything, therefore anything was something, Good or bad it was an experience. It was about not overthinking, not planing and just going. This summarises us and our trip in a perfect imperfection: blurry, silly and making no sense at all.
Lots of Love,