Hello world, I am alive. Not sure for how long but I am working on it. Life has some ups and downs and right now it is a shaky road for me. It is out of my control and nothing ended up as I planned. I realise that this might be a control freak issue, but it is just difficult.
During the first part of our lives everything is structured, it depends on you mostly (not always!) but we have dates and outcomes and support. Right now I am freestyling a degree that I realised I do not really want anymore. I deserve it nevertheless and want it as the result of my work. But if time could be messed with I definitely would have chosen another route for that.
It doesn’t matter, time can’t be controlled although guys from the physics department: Keep on the good work! I wouldn’t want it. It would mess up a lot of “sideways happinesses” and I can’t just focus on one bad thing. But right now it is the rock in my shoe that doesn’t let me breathe. (I know my lungs are not in my feet but humour me please).
Oh and it is winter in Germany: SUPER DEPRESSING FOR ME!!! (just because I do not appreciate winter, for all the winter lovers 😘 respect just not my thing!).
So, as time for wandering around has been scarce, I went to search for the old relics I have here and see if something was worth sharing.
I am a fan of these corner treasures. Maybe it was just a kid fantasising about a romance à la Disney. But I like to think that this kid is in everyone, and one decided to burn it on the wall. Was it just vandalism or a small anonymous sharing, or an action for people to stare and be filled with a warm feeling that in nature the human being can be sweet?
Hmmm… I like to think that. I used to think that it was directed at me by the stars or whatever (egocentric or what?!). Nowadays I just contemplate and imagine a young heart filled with hopes and believing and signs and what you put in the universe and so on… Someone who gives it a try, even if it is that little… a hopeless romantic that hopes for love. And isn’t it what we all want?
I mean through all its forms… lovers, friends, fury (or no fury) friends, self-love… at the end we want the feeling… regardless of its manifestations we don’t have to fit in a mould, but we might still want it… just differently.
Love yourself first… we are stuck with ourselves aren’t we?! the rest is how we wanted regardless of what others might tell us!