Longing for next week! Again we escape… a little further away this time!

Oh how do I need this.

I really don’t now when this happened… When I was in Switzerland, I knew that once a year I would be at the beach, but FULLY! Completely.

My parents used to take 1 to 2 weeks of only beach time on the Portuguese coast… it was a full dedication to the beach life…. Rising up early, going there, eating there, sleeping there… the sun will set and we would shower to go have dinner and walk along the coast at night…. It was different.. the cancerous sun was not so frightful… anyway we had shades. We just hid there in the hotter hours…

growing up I might have distanced myself from it… maybe I just thought I didn’t need it so much… I mean, it was something sure…. I didn’t feel like I would lose it… but I did… And I did before I left the country.

Towards the end, before leaving Porto I was trying to be more present, but as I didn’t “take” time for it… it never felt the same. The I completely lost it. I couldn’t go see it when I wanted. It was not there anymore… and then I felt it. I felt the void. It was a little like a drug withdrawal… I don’t know… I really don’t know how it came to be like this….

Maybe it’s another level of consciousness… or an transfer of needs, priorities…learning to feel myself, to listen to myself… knowing what is good for me and not what I thought it would be… because how I was brought up to this set of mind of the path we are supposed to follow. Going to be almost 30, I am entering this magnificent “I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*&K” anymore. It is all about logic. Does it hurt me? Do I want it? Do I need it? What are the consequences? What do I need to lose in order to gain that?

Truth is, I don’t want to work towards the perfect retirement. As far as I know, I might not even get there…I want to retire a little everyday. I want to earn my life as I work for it too. I won’t let my best years go through. I want to live the best way I can for myself, as I believe if I feel better I will be better and it will be a win-win situation for everyone around me 🙂 And you? What is your need? The thing you long for, you work for everyday? Do you patiently wait or you savour it as you get it?

🖤🐘

Love, T.