Waiting for life.

I know I seem to repeat myself… but I love this picture. It tells me so much. Weird ha? And we all heard that sentence… “a picture is woth a thousand words…” Maybe not a thousand for this one but a good number still. This looks like a well staged pic… to tell a story… even an ablum cover maybe.

You have a road that enters a river… you don’t see the beginning or end… just a weird, unexpeted and quite unexplainable transition. Someone (yourself maybe?) staning in this weird place. You don’t realy get why he(or you?) is staing there.

Was it a mistake? Is he waiting? Is he making some kind of life changing decision? Is he trying to figure out his life? Is he remembering a past life? Is he communicating with Sirens from the Rhein? 😛 Is he just contemplating this strange place that seems to stand between two worlds? Or is he just there? No, explanation, no deep petry. Just there. He is just standing there.

Frankly I could write a dissertation about my own feeling when I see this pic. I can see myself, in my strange confused little life. Almost insignificant, really.

Because we are. In reality, we might mean a lot for a small number of people. And it is absolutely not a constant state. There are moments in your life… that you almost could name as “fractured lives”. Our life is one story, bu filled with chapters and even divided by acts or volumes. The decor changes, the people change, you change. So why do we continuously try to fit everything into one storyline? WHy cut it? Why make it so boring? It is amazing what we do to fit into normality but then we say out loud how extraordinary we want our life to be.How is that? How does it make any sense?! I am very confused by everything… ahaha… I really am. I know I am a confused person, but everyone else confuses me more. I try to find some answers and comfort into the world around me.

Which is very challenging… because what I have to do is to shut my ears and eyes to our very ugly world, and just focus in a selfish cand very closed detail of the big picture. And then I try to relate in the sea of us, the very lucky people… that were born in the lucky side of the world…. in the lucky nest… that is protected by diverting our attention to small little insignificant “issues”. We manage to fall into very complicated states of mind… we hurt each other or even just ourselves. We try to find meaning, in a world where innocents are always the target of our “sins”. We say beautiful words, copied from some internet page. Or we attack our “enemies”. The ones that don’t agree with us. By logic, proof or simply choice. We refuse to accept alternatives.

We find ourselves fighting for a fabricated idol, but don’t react to important escalating matter. Everything is a fashion statement these days. Even just having kids. To fill a void. To show off. To have a new toy. Sometimes ignoring that we have to teach the fundamentals. That being happy is not necessarily following your choices, but figuring out our own.

I just wrote a bit of the confusion brought by this still image. Funny how I am able to drift appart right?? And the firt word that came to my mind was simply, waiting… Because it is what it feels all the time… like I am waiting for something. Like I am in an alternative state and the real one will come.

I don’t know how to interpretate this. I don’t even know if I want to figured this out. I want to enjoy this “waiting”. It might be the only state I will ever be. And I am kind of enjoying it. Oh, let me rephrase… I am learning how to enjo it. I seem to enjoy my past more, while I was not enjoying it as it was the present.

Confused, I know. That is it. Hope you enjoy this piece of text.

Love, T.